How many times?

How many times can a lie be said?
How many times can a dream die?
How many times must I live like this?
How many times can I kill you?
How many times do I think of you?
How many times can my eyes drip sores?
How many times can I walk away from the truth?
How many times will I let you slip away from me?
How many times can I deceive myself?
How many times must I learn to die to self?
How many times do I try and fight?
How many times do you sit there and cry?
HOw many times can I turn my back on you?
How many times do you reach out for me?
How many times can I slit my throat?
How many times do I not give a damn?
How many times can you put up with me?
How many times can this go on?

A candlelight Dinner

Ackward, unsure, unsteady...
"How do I proceed?"
"What do I say?"
"Would He care?"
"Would He want to listen?"
Stumbling forward...
"Do I dare and look Him in the eye?"
"Can He see me?"
"Does He want me?"
"What could He see in me?"
"How did I become so hesitant"
Looking at the clock...
"Is there time to turn around and go back...Is there still time... There has to be time?
"How can I go forward"
"I'm not who He thinks I am?"
"Why did He want to meet?"
"I can't go on like this"
"I should tell Him that its no use"
"He cant use me"
"I'm just no good"
Walking towards Him...
Head held in shame and disgrace...
Tentive baby steps...
Looking into His eyes...
LOVE...
BEAUTY...
SECURE...
MINE!
Smiling as He pulls my chair out.
"You want me to sit"
"You want me to stay"
"Why"

Our conversation:
Shallow...not meaningful...till he takes my hand and triggers the flow of words.
The dam is broken...every hope, dream, wish, want desire, flow forth
Into his awaiting heart: to protect, to fulfill, to insure that the outcome is prefect and in His time.

The Waltz:
The music slowly stirs our hearts to dance.